i'm named after a character in a novel but my life is anything but novel.ish. at most, it's a messy disarray of uncertainty, outbursts of emotions, heartbreaks, tears, disappointment, rejection, and broken dreams.
bing - that's what my friends call me and i prefer it that way. i'm bing - the emotional drama queen who often writes with a tragic view on life and everything else in between but who always manage to come out cheerful and loud and wild and spontaneous in real life.
yet if only people care to read between the lines, if only they care enough to see beyond the laughters and the jokes - they could see how broken and messed up on the inside i really am. but i don't wanna sound like a whiny bitch coz i'm used to it. i'm used to people not caring and i'm fine with that. i'm just gonna live life one day at a time and take it from there.
so yeah. i may sound like a girl who doesn't know how to appreciate what she has but trust me, i do. i am grateful for everything that i have and have been given but that doesn't mean i don't have any right to be hurt.
coz right now, i'm hurt.. and that's the problem. i feel too much, i hurt too much, i love too much, and i always end up too broken and too scarred to ever be the same.
i guess that's what made me so good at pretending to be happy. or maybe i'm just getting better at hiding my feelings.